The Roles It Plays In Different Friendships English Literature Essay
What is friendship? To reply that, we must foremost inquire ourselves ; what is a friend? Many think that a friend is person that you are close to ; person that you can swear. Others think that it is merely person who is similar to us ; possibly they portion our same likes and involvements. The best manner to explicate a true friendly relationship is through the words of Bernard Meltzer ; “ A true friend is person who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are somewhat cracked. ” I believe that friendly relationship is a end that one can make with person if you care adequate about them. A Platonic love and regard comes from get the better ofing hardship, sharing experiences, and run intoing common ends with one another. Friendship is a bond that can be strengthened or weakened as two people ‘s relationship grows and matures as they do. In this paper, I will be analyzing the differences between same sex and cross sex friendly relationships as they overcome hardships based on research and illustrations given in the films Step Brothers, Bride Wars, and Made of Honor.
Research
In today ‘s society, we have really small apprehension of what friendly relationship requires. Aristotle said that friendly relationships were composed of three parts: friends must bask each other ‘s company, they must be utile to one another, and they must portion a common committedness to the good ; nevertheless, our society merely looks at that first constituent ( Doyle & A ; Smith 2002 ) . When seeking for a friend we tend to settle for those who we like to be about. For illustration, we have our workplace brothers whom we spend most of our clip with ; it is merely natural that we consider them as friends. But to be true friends, we must look at the other facets of friendly relationship.
Male friendly relationships were one time known to be the most fulfilling relationship a individual could hold, but as times changed, so did that sentiment. Men shifted off from the heartfelt words and actions for the fright of being called “ homosexual ” . The industrial revolution and other economic chances led to this alteration every bit good. Your possible friend was now your competition in this grueling lunacy. Acerate leaf to state, this was a dog eat Canis familiaris clip ; every adult male for himself. It became more of import for work forces to go successful instead than holding friends. The diminution in adult male friendly relationships besides resulted from holding to go for work. However, with the addition in work seemed to come with an addition in leisure clip. In this trim clip that work forces were holding, they would play more athleticss and take part in more out-of-door activities-gearing their relationships with other work forces around these kinds of activities ( McKay & A ; McKay, 2008 ) .
Work forces are really competitory with one another, particularly with friends. So today, we typically picture male friendly relationships as a group of cats playing a game of hoops or football ; which our research supports. Work force are more comfy when they are take parting in an activity instead than merely sitting around speaking. However there are admirable qualities that may do that spring from friend to outdo friend and develop a “ bromance ” . The first trait is being straightforward. Unlike adult females, work forces wo n’t crush around the shrub about things. If something is trouble oneselfing them, they will discourse it. Work force are besides a batch less judgmental ; they are n’t really sensitive or critical of one another. Last, one of the best traits anyone could perchance hold is true trueness ( McKay & A ; McKay, 2008 ) . Just like the stating that adult females stick together and have each other ‘s dorsums, work forces do the same. No affair what, a true friend will stand by your side and lodge up for you-even to their married womans or important others.
Womans, on the other manus, can be merely the opposite. We are more caring, friendly, and fostering. Unlike work forces, adult females can name up their friends anytime of the twenty-four hours to speak about anything from work to work forces to the latest chitchat. We as adult females crave the bond of hearing, voicing our sentiments, and overall company of one another. Equally fulfilling as this is, it besides has its ruins. Women, like work forces, can be competitory. Alternatively of viing in activities, adult females tend to one up, or talk-up, each other. Everyone else will seek to hold a better narrative or have a better outfit than the other. Womans feel the demand to acquire a sense of pride out of experiencing better than person else, even if that other individual is their friend. All competitiveness aside, we need female friends in our lives. Without these female friendly relationships, adult females tend to hold more defeat built up due to the fact that they have no 1 to voice their personal thoughts and ideas to. As a consequence, communicating with other people becomes more hard. Therefore, adult females strive to hold female friends. The meaningful feeling that comes from the bonds between adult females is like that of sisters. You may detest them one twenty-four hours, but in the terminal they ‘re still your friend and you ‘ll ever hold their dorsum.
“ It has been said that female friendly relationships can be pictured as two adult females confronting one another, while male friendly relationships can be symbolized by two work forces standing side by side, looking outwards ” ( McKay & A ; McKay, 2008 ) . So what happens when you have a cat and miss best friend? Numerous surveies have been done seeking to find if work forces and adult females can truly be friends. “ The belief that work forces and adult females ca n’t be friends comes from another epoch in which adult females were at place and work forces were in the workplace, and the lone manner they could acquire together was love affair. Now they work together and portion athleticss involvements and socialise together ” ( Chatterjee, 2001 ) . Friendship between work forces and adult females is developed without a defined set of guidelines. A Platonic friendly relationship depends on at least one of the friend non being sexually attracted to the other. However, consecutive work forces and adult females are of course attracted to one another. A romantic attractive force does non replace the possibility of a cross-sex friendly relationship, but does impact the development and direction ( Harvey, 2003 ) .
Work forces like holding female friends because they provide them with a sort of nurturance and they “ do n’t hold to play the butch game ” ( Parrott & A ; Parrott, 2010 ) . Womans like holding cat friends because they are able to acquire the male position on things that their female friends could ne’er cognize or give them. “ Male-female friendly relationships depend upon how much each individual in the relationship is willing to stretch and turn. These cross-gender friendly relationships require both work forces and adult females to name upon parts of themselves that are normally less accessible when associating to their typical same-sex friends ” ( Parrott & A ; Parrott, 2010 ) .
The biggest inquiry about cross-sex friendly relationships lies within one word: attractive force. We are all attracted to our friends in one manner, form, or form otherwise we would ne’er hold been friends with them in the first topographic point. 47 % said that they felt an attractive force at the beginning of their friendly relationship and struggled to stay merely friends. Therefore, cross-sex friends must develop their ain guidelines and reshape the manner adult females and work forces typically interact with one another ( Harvey, 2003 ) .
Application
In every friendly relationship there is hardship. But it is how they overcome their jobs that show the true friendly relationship. Giving illustrations from the films Step Brothers, Bride Wars, and Made of Honor, we will look at what the job was, how it developed, and how they overcame it in different types of friendly relationships.
In the film Step Brothers, two 40 twelvemonth old work forces, Dale and Brennan, still live with their parents. However when their parents run into, fall in love, and acquire married, they are forced to portion a room. Both are angry about the matrimony and demo hate towards one another. They become really competitory towards one another ; combat, reasoning, and undermining each other at every opportunity that they get. When Derek, Brennan ‘s younger brother, comes for a household dinner, we so see things change between Dale and Brennan. Derek is the stereotyped successful dork ; both Brennan and Dale ca n’t stand him, so when Dale punches Derek, Brennan begins to see a possible friendly relationship with him. “ Did we merely go best friends? Yup! “ ( Step Brothers, 2008 ) . Another illustration is when their parents ca n’t bear all the contending any longer and acquire a divorce. The cats are devastated. They merely realized the connexion that they had and now it is on the brink of fall ining. Brennan and Dale begin to contend and fault each other for the divorce. Both move out, happen occupations, and weave up meeting at an event that Brennan is hosting and that Dale is providing for. The two hope to reunite their parents and rekindle the bromance that they one time had.
Bride Wars is a great illustration of childhood friendly relationships defying even the worst hardships through maturity. Liv and Emma were childhood friends who both had dreams of holding June nuptialss at the Plaza Hotel. Liv went off to Law school while Emma became a instructor. When both misss become engaged at the same clip, they thought it was a dream semen true. They proceed to do assignments with the most esteemed nuptials contriver in all of Manhattan in hopes of holding their June nuptialss at the Plaza-only one little job, a confusion from the secretary consequences in both nuptialss on the same twenty-four hours. Neither one of them is willing to exchange the day of the month of her nuptials. So these best friends now become enemies ; each one seeking to undermine the other ‘s nuptials. The more active and backstabbing that goes on between Liv and Emma puts emphasis on their relationships with their fiances. All the play aside, on the twenty-four hours of their nuptialss, both misss realize that it was a stupid battle and they wanted each other to be happy. In the terminal, Liv and Emma realized that their friendly relationship was worth more than any nuptials or any dream.
While in college, Tom by chance got into the incorrect miss ‘s bed. If he had n’t made this error, he would hold ne’er met Hannah. In the film Made of Honor, Tom and Hannah have been Platonic best friends for 10 old ages. “ He ‘s a consecutive dater, while she wants matrimony but has n’t found Mr. Right ” ( Made of Honor, 2008 ) . Merely as Hannah leaves for Scotland for 6 hebdomads for her art museum, Tom realizes that he has feelings for Hannah. The 6 hebdomads go by slow for Tom since every clip Hannah tries to name he misses it or the call beads and frailty versa. Finally Hannah returns and merely as Tom is ready to state her is true feelings, she has an even bigger surprise-she ‘s engaged! And to exceed it off, Hannah wants Tom to be her Maid of Honor. Unsure of what to make, Tom consults his cat friends. They proceed to state him what better manner to acquire the miss than to interrupt up the nuptials from the interior out. Tom accepts this ungodly quest as amah of award. The closer he gets to Hannah and demoing her that he is the adult male for her, her fiance , Colin, ever one ups him. On the Eve of the nuptials, Tom eventually expresses his feelings. Merely as Hannah begins to demo that she merely may experience the same, Hannah catches her cousin in his bed. A large misinterpretation leads to Hannah stating Tom that she needs a existent adult male, a adult male that she can swear, a adult male that she can trust on. Torn up about it, Tom leaves early the forenoon of the nuptials. Stuck on the route within a herd of sheep, Tom sees a Canis familiaris and takes it as a mark that Hannah truly feels the same about him. In a despairing effort to halt the nuptials, Tom steals a Equus caballus and rides it right through the church doors. Amazed that he is at that place, Hannah rushes to him. Just like a timeless love affair, Tom gets his miss.
Decision
Work force and adult females both value friendships vastly. Male friendships bond over a competitory athletics or activity while female friendly relationships bond over sharing experiences and conversations with one another. Both have distinguishable differences and similarities to one another, which lead to cross-sex friendly relationships. “ Men and adult females can bask male-female friendly relationships together, but non at the same degree they do with friends of the same sex ” ( Parrott & A ; Parrott, 2010 ) . In order for these cross-sex friendly relationships to boom, you must put some land regulations. A Platonic friendly relationship is the best friendly relationship. We must ever retrieve, you have to be a friend to hold friends.
