Nonverbal Listening Patterns
Nonverbal Listening Patterns January 5, 2007 was the day Linda and I met for a cup of coffee. I had known her for close to half a year and had really come to like her. By this time I realized I never was tense whenever I talked to her and that I could use the date to declare my love for her. I was determined to find out if Linda really liked me. I pulled the chair for her and she sat as I took the other on the opposite side of the coffee table. I looked at her in the eyes; she looked backed at me momentarily and then smiled as she looked down.
I smiled too. Whatever conversation we were going to have was going to be more than just flirtation. I knew she liked watching cartoons so I raised the topic. She raised her cup of coffee and took a sip. I did the same in synchrony. So far everything was moving along smoothly. I stretched out my hand across the table, reached out to hers and looking at her straight in the eyes said, “You’re stunningly beautiful, Linda. ” She gently held the palm of my hand with her both hands and responded, “Wow, thanks, am really flattered. I had not taken my eyes off her by this time and for a moment I thought may be she liked me just as a friend. When I saw her off to the doorsteps of her house I looked out for the signs again. She told me she had a good time with me. I stepped closer and bent my head towards her. She met me half way and our lips touched as we kissed intimately. Through out the conversation I mirrored her behavior. I touched her when she touched me. I kissed her upon the observation that she bent her head towards mine. I, however, kind off missed a positive cue when she fidgeted with her earrings.
Linda was beautiful to look at, but sometimes I got carried away that I didn’t notice the embarrassment in her face as she looked down when I ended up locking eyes with her. A totally different conversation took place between me and my girlfriend’s dad a few years ago. I didn’t know he didn’t like the idea of her daughter being in a romantic relationship. The conversation happened at her father’s house in the living room. As I stepped into the room her father’s eyes stuck on me. I smiled and stole a glance at my girlfriend and then again at her father. My smile wasn’t contagious enough because he didn’t return it.
That was unusual of him. I stretched out my arm to great him. His grip wasn’t as firm as usual. I felt something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out it had something to do with me. I began to feel uneasy. As I walked past him towards where my girlfriend sat, he grabbed my shirt and pulled me down to his couch. I found myself seated. With his voice gaining pitch gradually he said to me, “So you’ve been hitting on my daughter lately, ha? ” I began to sweat and panicked. He grabbed me by my shirt again and shouted, “What the heck do you want to do with my daughter? He continued to yell at me and say things that could only be heard by dogs at search a high pitch. The wrinkles on the upper part of his face told it all. He was mad at me. All that time I looked down in a combination of fear and embarrassment. I tried to establish eye contact with him but his “popping out” eyes stopped me. I think I did well to treat the frown in his face as I entered the living room as a sign of trouble. However, had I been a good listener I’d have traced the source of trouble to myself when he gave me a cold handshake.
His unusually shrilled voice towards me would have been a good indicator of annoyance. I should have explained my self or responded in a way to calm him down (BNET, 2009). In the future I’d try to listen carefully to the messages conveyed through voice, space, eye conduct and gestures so I can respond accordingly (Segal, 2009). References BNET. (2009). Understanding Nonverbal Communication. Retrieved Dec 16, 2009. From http://www. bnet. com/2410-13069_23-95607. html Segal J. (2009). Nonverbal Communication Skills. Retrieved Dec 16, 2009. From http://www. helpguide. org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication. htm
