This chapter deals with the constructs and matrimony patterns of the small town Moza Jam Rid Thal. What are the common matrimony patterns? What people prefer endogamy or exogamy and why? What are the most common and traditional imposts related to marriage ceremonial.
4.1 Marriage Practices and Forms
In the small town Moza Jam Rid Thal matrimony is settled by the household of bride and groom. Peoples of different posterities are populating in the small town. Peoples prefer endogamy but they are non really restricted to this. Social position is besides one standard along with the caste or biradri. In recent old ages exogamy is non discouraged as in the yesteryear.
4.1.1 Endogamous matrimony
The Most prevailing manner of matrimonies in the venue was endogamy. The tendency in favour of intermarriage was every bit observed in Kot Sultan. Peoples strongly believe that endogamy bases Guarantee Insurance against divorce that leads to decomposition of the household. Relatives after all try their best non to allow the bond broken strengthens inter matrimonies. The endogamic phenomena among the feudal Godheads might hold taken birth to over the “ confidence to allow the landed belongings remain integral and undivided: , ( remarks byaˆ¦aˆ¦aˆ¦aˆ¦ . ) but the ordinary people ( landlords and husbandmans included ) , the ground possibly is the belief that “ blood is thicker than H2O ” expressed in saraiki and translated as if a blood comparative putting to deaths, is bound to set the organic structure in shadow, whereas the alien leaves the organic structure in the Sun to decompose. The dearth of fiscal resources ( economic place of the parties ) induces them to prefer intermarriage.
“ aapra Mara Ta chan Ta sata opra Mara Ta dhup Ta sata ”
4.1.2 Exogamous matrimony
There is no rigorous belief system like Hindu ‘s dramatis personae system, Arab ‘s pureness of blood or Hitler ‘s racialist political orientation that operates behind intermarriage, instead it is the easiness or convenience of the relationship that helps the manner to predominate. Marriages concluded out of household or affinity biradri called intermarriages are neither banned nor despised. Though non every bit prevailing as intermarriage, still a batch of exogamic agreements were reported. The lone hurdle that hinders the exogamic agreement continues to be zaat ( caste in lose sense as the profession one adopts comes to find the zaat in most of the instances ) phenomena.
The absence or lower incidence of intermarriage among and between lower and upper ranking Zaats indicates the steadfast belief that Zaat has really strong influence on the personality of the members of that class and that can ne’er is changed. The people express the belief that the wonts, attitudes, penchants, caprices, menus and dreams are inherited by birth in many different versions. The belief that operates behind blockading exogamic matrimonies is apparent from local looks ( verbatim ) below every bit,
“ the low caste remains to go on a low caste ” .
“ Kami Kami he rahndan ”
These beliefs about the societal stratification and hierarchy is embedded in local civilization, the normally used Proverbs eloborates best the these constructs, as one of the respondents who belong to Zimidar biradari said,
“ Ghora Di Poch Lavanr Nal Gadhan Ghora Nahe Banr Waynda ”
“ Merely have oning the narrative of Equus caballus does non do the donkey a Equus caballus ” .
“ Na Bahvan Kam Zaat Nal, Wanj Ralasi Aya Aap Nal ”
“ Do non attach to the low caste or else you become one of them ” .
In Spite Of an Antagonistic environment, many exogamic matrimonies seem taking topographic point. The closed examination of the informations revealed that boys belong to take down Zaat ( perceived and believed as norm ) but with promising hereafter and strong economic background succeeded in get marrieding misss belonging to the upper Zaat. Interestingly the emerging tendency for exogamy with small faster gait of credence was observed at Kot Sultan.
4.1.3 Watta Satta ( Exchange matrimony )
Southern Punjab in general and DG khan division in peculiar is ill-famed for the exchange matrimony locally called “ Watta Satta ” . At the clip of matrimony, both households trade brides. That is, both households must hold a girl and a boy and be willing to engage them to a girl and boy of the other household. In Kot Sultan wata sata pattern in many instances due to some logical thinking. The grounds for exchange matrimonies vary. When such a matrimony takes topographic point between the comfortable parties ( in-between category ) , the ground may be lust for dowery, inherited assets, beef uping common bounds, confidence against household decomposition menace through divorce. Watta Satta among lower every bit good as upper zaat ‘s in considered the strengths and warrant against divorce, though there is no conclusive grounds on recode. Informal treatments reveal that Watta Satta is non much popular in the venue and its incidence observed is really low. It was found that Watta Satta was losing appeal peculiarly during the recent old ages in the venue.
“ Kahaen di dhee district attorney wall apnra payran tala daysoo Ta apnri dhi district attorney wall bachsan ”
18.104.22.168 Endogamous exchange matrimony
One type of Watta Satta matrimony is within household Watta Satta matrimony, in which brides are exchanged within the household. There are many ground of within household Watta Satta. The chief causes of this type matrimonies are that household caputs knows really good the character of both male childs and misss, misss are being married in the same house or household and their parents want to get married their misss nearby, jumping of dealingss go more strengthen and some household do n’t desire to portion their belongings outside the household so they prefer within household Watta Satta because they think that every bit much our girl will take right of belongings the coming bride to their household will besides convey the same. Another ground of endogamic exchange matrimony is that the parents of the bride are genitive about the security of their girl so that they want groom ‘s sister to be married woman of their boy to guarantee the security of their ain girl.
22.214.171.124 Exogamous exchange matrimony
Another type of Watta Satta is exogamic exchange matrimony in which brides are exchanged outside the household. This type of matrimonies occurs when the parents of bride or groom failed in researching any sensible bride or groom for their boy or girl. So traveling the wall they have to get married their male child or miss outside the household and for this they besides have to guarantee the security of their miss and demand the manus of groom ‘s sister.
The matrimonies between one adult male and one adult male are called monogamous matrimonies. The research worker found that monogamous matrimonies and popular within the community and most of the matrimonies done are monogamous matrimony. They ca n’t afford another matrimony because of their lower socio-economic position. So they are happy with their one married woman and kids.
Marriages in which one adult male and more than one adult females are called polygamous matrimonies. The chief ground of one than more married womans is the deficiency of common apprehension between first married womans. These types of matrimony work forces ‘s do due to their married womans have no boy and a batch figure of girl. Arrange matrimony largely ground of 2nd matrimony because they do non care and compromise with each other. Other factors of polygamous matrimony are as below Family perturbation ( nuhuand backtalk ) , Love with other miss, Financial spread between hubby and married woman household, Husband non fulfill from first married woman.
The polygamy though non much popular is still patterns. Most of the people did n’t object much instead appreciated the pattern when it was meant to hold a male issue in peculiar. The cardinal source being good aware of the state of affairs at Kot Sultan told that bulk of the polygamous matrimonies were the consequence of either love matter or an alibi to assist the widows disguised for catching landed belongings.
( ( Haji Gulam Sarwar is the populating illustration of the Polygamy, who had two married boies when he got married with a adult female herself being female parent of four kids got divorced from her hubby.
At the decease of a married adult male his married woman is married with his younger brother. This type of matrimony is called levirate. It was observed that levirate is practiced in the survey country but at lesser extend in recent old ages.
Sororate is besides prevailing in the survey country. At the decease of a married adult female her sister is married with her hubby to carry through the infinite after her and is thought that the sister of that adult female will be most suited to featherbed and attention of her ain sister ‘s kids.
When bride is taken to the groom ‘s house after matrimony is called Patriloacl matrimony system. The research worker found that this pattern is largely done in the venue and people have a strong believe on this type of matrimonies. After matrimony bride leaves her parents, place and comes to populate with her hubby ‘s household.
When a groom used to populate in her married woman ‘s parents house after matrimony this pattern is called Matrilocal matrimony. The research worker found that this type of matrimony is non really familiar within the people of KotSultan because it is thought as a mark of guilty and shame among the community work forces and socially consdered a bad thing. However in really terrible instances this type of matrimonies is acceptable for illustration when the groom ‘s in Torahs have no male member or boy and groom belongs to kin relations. Key source at KotSultan could number on fingertips ( one instance ) , where the Matrilocal agreements were in pattern. “ It is better to decease than to go a son-in-law edge to remain with in-laws ” ; said Ahmad khan when asked to notice on the Matrilocal agreements.
“ Sohnra district attorney ghar rahvanr kinoo maranr changa ”
Practices performed pre matrimony
Putr di marzi
Though non hundred per centum true but chiefly the parents of the male child develop understanding as to when and with whom the matrimony be arranged. Sometime, the activity gets started on behest of the male child meaning to get married though parents do non anticipate such a blunt look from their kids. it is exceeding that the male kids express their want to get married.
With the consent of the caput of the household ( normally father ) the female parent starts whispering her purpose for some miss and in an unheralded.Rather secret mode visits the household of possible bride. Her visit is based on the information collected by a soi-disant appointed female agent runing for prospective brides and associating the households. Such a function is normally is performed by female partisans ( called Nivani in the local linguistic communication ) . It is non necessary that the agent is decidedly a membranophone -beater, she may be anyone belong into any Zaat profession. The function of agent is really of import peculiarly when the two households are non much acquainted with each other and belong to different Zaats.
The process in which the parents of the boy send proposal to the parents of the miss is called “ bazzoo manganr or bahan manganr ” . The first measure in which parents of the male child go the miss ‘s house and asked her parents their girl for their male child is called dhuk dewan The research worker explored that it is usage of the Kot Sultan that proposal is ever sent by the male child ‘s parents. It is quandary of our society the female side ne’er send the proposal of matrimony to the male side and if they do it ‘s consider as a societal immorality. Mostly male side direct a proposal to female side this is called “ Dhuk Davenr ” .
The male household goes to female place and attempts to actuate and convert for the matrimony proposal. The male parent of miss non gives any answer clearly. After this male child ‘s household goes to girl house many clip.parents consult with each other and if brother of miss is big so besides consult with him. The parents give regard of their grownup kids positions about their matrimony. If household members agree with proposal so boys via media on the household determination. The female parent play really of import function in taking determination of proposal because she has motivation and converting power. When house member of miss ‘s agree on proposal after that they consult with uncle and aunties households.
Normally proposal set in a household ; the parents of miss ‘s and parents of male childs know the position of each other. They can understand easy the pros and cons of male childs and misss. If matrimony proposal out of household so many factors comes to the head of parents. Such as Girl should be beautiful, younger from their boy and she should be free from diseases. Parents of male childs besides check the miss ‘s parents are baronial and honest. Largely proposal are rejected due to misss do n’t esteem their seniors, more chatty, proud and fat. The male child ‘s female parent checks the capablenesss like cookery ( Ridha pakka ) , rinsing and run uping ( seavnr povnr ) the apparels with efficient manner. In this reign misss should be educated. If misss have above qualities marriage proposal see done. On the misss side parents of misss check the repute, character, Nobel and other abilities of male child ‘s.
Dhe di marzi
But an look ( wish to get married implicitly or explicitly expressed in direct or indirect mode ) from a miss is considered impossibleness in the male dominated civilization that does non anticipate and let a miss to show such a wish. Such an look is considered a mark of bad character and abnormalcy.
The following measure is called “ Hal Ghinar ” . When the parents of the male child are assured that the parents of the miss are willing to accept their proposal, they go the misss ‘ parents ‘ house along with caput of their household and relations to conform the relationship being made. When they arrive at misss ‘ house they arrange any topographic point to sit. Then any of the senior work forces “ buzurg ” from the miss ‘s side ask invitee for the ground of coming. This procedure is called Hal Ghinar and says to his side that “ halghino ” . Then the full invitee from male child ‘s side says “ halghino ” . Then all the people from girl side say “ wadythewo ” . Then any of the senior work forces ” buzurg ” from girl side asks male child ‘s side and state hal dewoo, and so one of the invitees say “ Hal di meherbani saein ” . By this formal interaction they start the procedure of Hal Ghinar. This is ceremonial in which people ask from other ” thanda peasoo ya garm ” means want to take tea or imbibe some cold drink. We are all come to your place for “ kar ekahair ” . We feel pleasure to run into with all of you and all are all right.
Hal usage is travel to stop when people say all ok “ Sub khair ” .then all invitees say with one voice “ Shala khair, Hamesha khair ” .
Dua khair di
Upon wholly satisfactory study and consensus among the parents of the bridegroom and on the imitative of the female parent of the prospective bridegroom a agenda for meeting of the work forces is fixed. The intent of the meeting is to publically denote purpose of the two households traveling to develop a new relationship through the matrimony of their kids. In such a meeting, some of the most of import relations ( uncles, cousins, son-in-laws etc. ; ) are invited to take part subsequently on remain informant to the intended understanding for future relation peculiarly the promise to widen the manus of the miss to the household of the bridegroom. In such a meeting, non really serious but light subjects are discussed among the participants. Normally such a meeting takes topographic point at the house of the prospective bride where at the participants are served with light nutrient and drinks. It has been reported and observed that such meetings take topographic point at dark.
The Dua-e-khair ceremonial is really of import as it formalizes the understanding ( unwritten ) reached between the female parent of prospective twosome through male members of the household. The Dua-e-khair indicates the male authorization for decision of understanding on which people can trust. In other words, the understanding reached by the female members of the household does non transport the same important weight as that weight of the male members. Further, the understanding even if unwritten ( as ever it is ) is dependable when concluded among work forces but non among adult females. Khair Muhammad observed that Dua-e khair is an alibi for corroborating understands in forepart of the populace. Therefore, a batch of significance is attached to Dua-e-khair.
Though with exclusion, due to certain grounds, the Dua-e-Khair may acquire ruined subsequently but is rare and despised by the people as they believe that a “ adult male ‘s stance is steadfast ” . In instance a Dua-e-khair is reverted or fails, the household originating the breakage of Dua-e-Khair or purportedly responsible for such an act is disliked and non trusted by the people in the yearss to come. Such and even creates problems for prospective bride in peculiar as fresh enterprises become leery unless the understanding gets mature. It has been observed that even if the bride whose Dua-e-Khair was ruined one time due to whatever grounds, faces reproach or call on the carpeting from the members of the in-laws household peculiarly in the event of acrimonious conversations on even other than broken Dua-e-khair.
Mundri pavnr / Mangnii
After the Dua-e-khair ( consensus concluded ) as the females of the two households through a ceremonial celebrate the consensus through a ceremonial called Mangni following the Dua-e-khair, the female members of the prospective bridegroom along with some relations visit the would be bride ‘s place at a twenty-four hours reciprocally fixed for the jubilation. Women and kids ( chiefly misss ) accompanied by a female partisan ( Mirasin ) arrive the bride ‘s place and are entertained. The usual manner of executing Mangni is seting a sheet of fabric called Bochhhan in Saraiki on the caput of the sitting miss ( bride to be ) around whom misss dance and scream at the volume equal to that of the rub-a-dub. In certain instances the bride ( to be ) wears even a ring ( normally aureate one ) given by the in-laws.
The would be bride is besides given gifts including 2 to 3 unstitched brace of apparels for doing ShalwarKameez suits and dry fruits Sweets every bit good. All the participants congratulate each other. Many people do non formalise the Dua-e-khair through Mangni. Several people at venue confirmed that Mangni was a deceasing usage and seldom celebrated by the households why the usage is deceasing invites enquiry by the hereafter research workers. It can possibly peculiarly be attributed to the development procedure that leaves a small clip for the people to acquire engaged in such imposts.
After engagement the miss have to stay in Hijab from her fiancee till their matrimony. But the male childs are ever in attempt to hold a glimpse at their fiancee and make many ways for this. In the instances of ordered battles in which male child have non seen the misss before battle but see after battle and do non like his fiancee is non able to interrupt his relation and can non make this because when parents have done so kids ca n’t make any action against their determination. After the engagement miss avoid to come forepart of male child because he will non happen any ( nuqs ) , misbehavior that consequence in hereafter of misconstruing between them.
If battle has done out of household so misss should be veiled. At the clip of matrimony misss and other household members must hold veiled. When matrimony is held within household there is no demand of veiled. After day of the month scene of matrimony so misss must be veiled.
If boy ‘s and miss ‘s house are near to garner so they meet with each other ‘s many times. After the battle and before the matrimony when Eid ( Islamic festival ) are comes, the female parent of male child give Eidi to her bahu ( nohu ) .Eidi include apparels, places, bracelets, mehendi, aromas, net hard currency and other nutrient points. Whenever female parent in jurisprudence goes to her bahu ( nuhu ) house she, will acquire gifts from miss ‘s household and if they do n’t give gift it considers deformed in future. If Eidi are non given to girl ‘s with in a best manner opportunities addition of interrupting battle.
Gandheen Badhan ‘ bases reciprocally repairing the day of the month of bride ‘s `Rukhsati ‘ ( nuptials and going from her male parent ‘s place ) . Normally a few yearss before the caputs of the households, accompanied by of import ( those who matter_ members household or kinship fitting each other and fix the day of the month for Nikah ( written understanding of weeding ) followed by Rukhsati. Literally the word Gandheen Badhan in Saraiki linguistic communication means “ Knoting ” , which possibly implies for cementing through common treatment the consensus on day of the month and twenty-four hours of Rukhsati. Interesting is to observe the observation that day of the months are fixed apart from following the modern calendar instead by the Islamic ( Hijri ) calendar. Constantly largely marriage ceremonials do non take topographic point during first and 2nd month of Islamic calendar, that is, Moharram and Safar.
Both the households after “ Gandheen Badhan ” prepare invitation lists for assorted ceremonials. All the guests may non needfully be entirely males. Males may be invited along with the females for certain ceremonials. Certain maps are entirely female such as Meendhi, Meendi and Warhi. However the Nikah and Walima are entirely male ceremonials. In past, Kandahy ( invitations ) were served through couriers normally Mirasi ( Drum beater ) or Nai ( Barber ) except for the closely related members of the affinity ( biradri ) who were invited and are still invited by one of the members of the household ( males for male and females for females ) . With the weakened caste system ( business based system ) the traditional system of employment of households ( Khandani Kammmi ) , like that of Mirasi, Nai etc. ; functioning Kandhay has died. Now a twenty-four hours ‘s invitations are largely served through invitation cards either printed or manus written.
Those who do non afford to acquire invitation cards printed semen to compose invitations on apparent paper ( sometimes colored ) . Assortments introduced in this type are the documents cards that carry standardized lineation inside informations with specifics to be inserted by the inviters. A great assortment of matrimony invitation cards are available in the market. Peoples at Kot Sultan usage invitations cards for ask foring relations friends to take part in the matrimony ceremonial Walima ( tiffin or dinner following the matrimony ) .sometimes, some of the guests may non be called to take part in the Nikah ceremonial and Baraat ( conveying of the bride to the bridegroom ‘s household ceremonial in group signifier ) . It is non that the friends non invited for Baraat and Nikah are less of import but the ceremonial is considered a formality to be attended by the close relations or the guests populating in the locality ( non at much distance ) and friends distantly stationed non be bothered to come. However, the engagement in Walima is given a batch of importance as it is taken as “ purpose to go on with the relationship and at the same clip resuscitating the bing grade of the relationship with friends and relations ” .
Marriage day of the months are set harmonizing to Moon calendar. When day of the month is fixed, foremost Moon dark comes groom household make a map that called “ Chandrana ” . In this map friends and relations are invited, they come and dance at drums voice ( Dhool ki thap ) .
A parallel activity at dark goes on at the house of the bridegroom and this is what is called sahray. At dark ( normally after the dark supplication ) neighbours and relations every bit good as friends of the household visit bridegroom ‘s house. The visitants are entirely female belonging to assorted age groups irrespective of matrimonial position. All the visitants sing local vocals refering matrimony ( goodwill look, pray for success of the matrimonial bond, folk-wisdom, folklores ) in chorus and in loud voice. The instruments used for adding music to the chorus may be and normally is utilizing a large metallic home base used in kitchen. The steel home base ( or tray ) ( Thall in saraiki ) put inverted and beaten with a stick making sound and now a twenty-four hours ‘s drummer ( Dholki ) usage for adding music. The vocals which are sung by adult females ‘s in the yearss of sahray are these
“ Allah janra Ta yar na janra mada dhool jawanian mahnran ”
“ janj Ta mada veeran di sarkan Ta na mava shalla veran sadian jevan Ta mahndian layva ”
Meendhi is the same rite called `Mayoon ‘ in Punjabi talking countries every bit practiced by Urdu talking community. For a figure of yearss ( non fixed but normally 3-5 yearss ) the prospective bride is afforded sole privateness to be with her closest friends and relations ( normally females merely of her age group ) at place say apportioning a room or a corner non to be visited by the males of even her household itself. The ritual existences by the reaching of certain females members of bridegroom ‘s household and give “ a rope manner signifier by weaving the espousal hair ” to be subsequently on untied by the in-laws. The activity is the beginning of the Meendhi continuance. A figure of points are supplies in an ample measure for massage non merely for the bride but her friends every bit good to be used during the Meendhi yearss.
The most of import constituent of the massage kit stands Bataan. The bride and her friends often and entirely use the paste on their faces in peculiar and custodies in general. A uninterrupted usage of Bataan develops a just pale skin color at least from the one the bride and her friends had prior to the usage of Bataan. There is no timing fixed for Bataan. The bride ‘s friends non temporarily remaining with her semen at easiness and usage Bataan besides affecting in chitchats. Possibly, the logic of the rite is to supply privateness to discourse branchings of the new relationship to be officially in operation beyond Rukhsati.
It is believed that Meendhi is short class for perspective bride conducted informally by the monsters through blunt exchange of the perceptual experience of the nature and operation of forthcoming relationship. Though evidently the activity seems meaningless because the participants in short class do non hold the needed experience as bulk of the bride ‘s friends are single, yet it continues to be patterns. The ritual reaches its extremum when the Meendhi is unfastened /opened ( normally by the female parent of the bridegroom or by the married adult female from his household ) . The event is celebrated by set uping the `Jhumar ‘ ( traditional dance ) on membranophone round by participants. The continuance of the ceremonial is normally an hr or so earlier sundown.
Guhnd ich bahvanr
After the Meandhi map bridle sit one corner of the room. Normally bridle sit two yearss in corner some clip it increases. Groom household besides gives Ubton to the bridle.Ubton include many points like ( khaskhas ) , Prunus dulcis, Zafran. The friends of bridle massage with Ubton to the bridle and bask this session. It ‘s looking interesting and this ceremonial cogent evidence good for bridle and they free from work of her place before many yearss ago of matrimony. Bride aside from her household, in this manner she ready for her new place. Bridle care her wellness and household besides support and attention in these yearss. When bridle sit in a corner, she must utilize xanthous frock and take no decorations. At the twenty-four hours of matrimony she dress up with ruddy frock and take gold decorations. In this manner she looking more beautiful and older adult females ‘s advice and Tells about her coming new life.
At the twenty-four hours of matrimony friends and relatives come to garner and convey the groom move to the mosque. Front of the mosque door caput of household member fix the “ Gana ” in carpus of groom and after that they supplications ( Dua ) .Gana consist of Seven colourss and beautiful points like ring of Fe and Long. At the clip of Gana one individual selected for counsel and aid of groom that called sabala.
At the dark of Jaga Groom sister in Torahs and bridle friends and relatives goes to prepare place. They wear beautiful frock and dance at groom place after dancing they groom come to place and sit on decor chair so elder adult females ‘s semen to the forepart of groom and put Mahndi right manus of groom after seting Mahndi sister in Torahs of groom demand of net hard currency for this ceremonial.groom deal with his sister in jurisprudence. After dickering sister in Torahs of groom receive after acquiring hard currency they chill and dance. After this groom female parent and his household member relation goes to bridle place with beautiful and decor home bases. Home plates contain Mahndi and Defense Intelligence Agency. They make merriment, vocals and dance at bridle place. The miss comes from corner of Room at the shadiness of xanthous “ Dhopata ” . This dhopata covers bridle friends and relations. When bridle range in courtyard, a beautiful decor chair represent for bridle sitting. The female parent and sister of grooms put mahndi on right manus of bridles. These types of activities known as “ mahndi ” . Widows and adult females that have no kid ca n’t set Mahndi to bridle if she put it see miss happen in future.
Girls sing a vocal like.
“ aya manner banra la sagna di mahndi: mahndi district attorney rang ratra lal ”
“ aya manner banra badh sagna district attorney sahra: mady banra Dy sahra di lari hay hazar ” .
Before Arrival the Barat, bridal household spread the Dowry ( Daj ) in a courtyard where everybody can easy this activity is called “ DajDikhavanr ” .Dowry includes apparels, Shoes, decorations, cracry and other life need things. Friends and relations see these things and give her remarks like beautiful, superb and cherished. Family of espousal show each thing forepart of adult females ‘s once more and once more. They do it for Good remarks on the dowery of espousals. Erstwhile people barrow the things for public presentation of this ceremonial. This ceremonial performs in espousal and Groom place. All basic demands of place things provided to the espousal.
Junj ceremonial is really old today this ceremonial is rare in our society.today some households perform this ceremonial, in the ceremonial the twenty-four hours of matrimony the groom household give tiffin to their friends and relations at their place it ‘s called “ Junj di Roti ” .when tiffin is ready friends and household members come with their pots and acquire the repast. After acquiring the repast they move back to their places and grooms tiffin gives to bridle places, that tiffin bridal household serve between their friends and relations this is called “ Dhati Sambhal ” .at the dark of Jaga groom household gives dinner to their relations and friends in grooms place this is called “ Tadaa di Rotii ”
Before the Departure of Barat, some people perform this ceremonial “ Khary Charhan ” . In this ceremonial groom take shower forepart of comparative and friends. The intent of “ KharyCharhan ” is show off the organic structure of groom that tells the people he is physical tantrum. Now this ceremonial is besides vanishing in Kot Sultan.
Before the Departure of Barat, adult females come to the groom place. They sing a vocal like “ veer mara ghori charya ” , dance and cultural Jhumhar this ceremonial is called Malee. All age of adult females take part in this ceremonial and enjoyed.
One dark before the matrimony day of the month grooms household celebrates a map at their place this ceremonial is called “ Jaaga ” . Usually common people vocalists are invited. The vocalist sings songs all the dark this is called “ Chooki ” . Friends of groom dance and cultural Jumhar with in a group perform once more and once more all the dark. This ceremonial is fundamentally agencies wake up all the dark. All music points are played like membranophone, piano etc.
At the twenty-four hours of matrimony groom household direct marry frock to bridles place. This frock must be ruddy colour and besides give ruddy places, ruddy bag, gold decorations, beauty clinic box and particular dry fruits. These all things are packed in one large box. These points are called “ warisoii ” . Normally this box brings groom aunties ( Boa ) , sisters, and nieces to the bridle ‘s place. These things purchase groom ‘s sister and close relations. Sometime espousal ‘s female parent besides go for purchasing. Girls sing a vocal like
“ warii jo Ghen ayae Han: tu paa nazoo, tu handa nazoo ”
“ chief takon ghenran aye Han: tu aya nazoo, tu aya nazoo ” .
Baraat is emanation of household, relations, and friends of groom that accompany the groom to bride ‘s place for official nuptials ceremonial.Baraat is the group of work forces and adult females who leave from the bridegroom ‘s house to roll up the bride from her parent ‘s house. Groom is given warm welcome by the bride ‘s household with flower Garlands and rose petals.The group ‘s going, going, reaching at finish etc. ; is a really formal event as relations and selected friends are invited to attach to the household of the bridegroom ( called Ghoote in Saraiki ) to roll up the bride ( called Kuanaar ) from her parent ‘s house. Prior to departure for bride ‘s house, the invitees are entertained with nutrients and drinks. The Baraat are going besides on camels ( Khachawa ) , camel streetcar ( oth rahra ) , tractor streetcar, coachs and autos.
If the distance between the houses of Ghote-kuanvaar ( the bridegroom and bride ) is a small long, vehicles to transport the invitees are arranged. Otherwise, everyone leaves on pes. Constantly a local set accompanies the group. When on their manner the Baraati ( participants ) normally come to dance on the rub-a-dub.
The participants, on the Ghote caput every bit good as the terpsichoreans shower coins and currency notes. The showering of coins and notes ( wale watavan ) creates a batch of enthusiasm peculiarly among childs. In such a journey females in signifier of a group travel individually. Emergency portable visible radiations are arranged. The late add-on to the inside informations of Baraat ceremonial is the usage of picture cameras as the still camera was in usage for rather a long clip at Kot Sultan.interestingly, adult females in peculiar remaining at their place and non take parting in the matrimony bunco bustle attempt to watch the activity peeping through doors, Windowss or standing on the roof of their houses on the manner. When the Baraat reaches the bride ‘s house, the participants from bridegroom ‘s side are entertained with different types of soft drinks.
Groom and bridle households celebrate and enjoy many maps. both household sing a vocals, dance and cultural “ Jumhar ” . In a groom map, bridle relations avoid to fall in the map because of shame ( Ghairat ) .but grooms relatives enjoy and chill all the dark. Grooms friends dance and cultural Jumhar with in a group at whole dark and the female side adult females make a circle and fix their “ doppatas ” in their dorsums and dance. They feel happy and enjoy whole night.Jumhar is non a hard activity it has no require particular effort.Jumhar perform in this manner pess put on the land and up the custodies and do a “ tarri ” .female sing a vocals like
“ Dil nip tangy Allah joray sanghy “
“ sajnra district attorney milna: muskil mahangay ”
Normally drum sound is enormously increasing in this manner “ Jumhar ” velocity is besides increased. This ceremonial is celebrated at high degree in these yearss. Other instrumentalists are besides play like membranophone, bean, shanaie and sing a Kafii of “ Hazrat Khawaja Gulam Fareed ” like
“ Aya chunroo ral yar: peloo pakya ni “
“ yar gaya Ta wal na aya: pata na dasya khat na paya “
“ aya mada dildar: aysan rakhya Ni ”
“ aya chunroo ral yar ” .
Jumhar is really old tradition and beautiful and interesting. Full Moon dark it becomes more attractive. Performer of jumhar really enjoy and non command himself, viewing audiences besides non command on themselves.. Ustad Tadi mirasi tells us Jumhar has in many classs like “ pahari, jhog, bharvi, kangra, darbari, nat, kalan, malhar, aur kalang etc.
Musicians instruments use like “ dhol, ghara, yack Tara, sarangi, alghoza, wanjli, bansri, tablaa and sharna etc ” .
With the permission of the parents, the Nikah ceremonial begins the frock for bridegroom is the 1 provided by the bride ‘s household.
After the bridegroom has changed the frock the Nikah ceremonial takes topographic point. Cleric ( called Mouli or Molvi ) recites certain poetries from the sanctum Quran and lets recite the same by bridegroom, confirms the contents of agreement from him by inquiring the inquiry ” such as such girl of such and such is acceptable to you as spouse? ” . The inquiry is repeated and answered by the bridegroom thrice. Beyond necessary filling of the Nikah signifier ( called Nikah Nama ) . The signatures or thumb feelings of both spouses obtained in the presence of informant of the male parent, guardian ( Walli ) and two relations. Mouli declares the successful completion of the procedure. Upon this the participants jointly congratulate the bridegroom and his household members. The friends and relations put Garlands made of flowers and currency notes around bridegroom ‘s cervix ( har ) .
Haq Mahr sum is settled harmonizing to the bridle household usage. Haq Mahr sum can be increase or diminish harmonizing to the groom fiscal place. Sometime Haq Mahr can include land, gold decorations and place. Bridle does n’t experience vacillation and careless about Haq Mahr and largely bridles let go of the Haq Mahr responsibility to her hubby. When adult females ca n’t go female parent so her household disturbs her hubby about Haq Mahr.This job can be solved harmonizing Islamic Islamic law jurisprudence.
After the Nikha ceremonial when bridegroom alter his new apparels. Brides brothers left the groom and his “ Sabala ” to his place on ladies side this ceremonial is called “ Lavan ” .
A decor chair that modesty for groom posing, when he came a huffy halt his manner because she present a carbon black off hurler.She put the cork on the land, groom attempt to interrupt the cork with the aid of heel. After interrupting the cork he award hard currency to mad. Groom ever sit on the right side of bridle.
Palo badhai ceremonial is performs the grooms sisters at the place of bridle. They fasten their doppata “ Palo ” with his brother ‘s turban “ Patka ” and ca n’t open this knot till brother wage hard currency to his sisters.
In this ceremonial the elder adult females give some “ Takkrain ” to the caputs of bride and groom ( Ghoot and knwar ) with each other.this usage perform between the Ghoot and knwar to Create love with each other and hard currency dropped on the Ghoot and knwar.This hard currency is cod by “ Nivani ” or “ Mirasan ” .
In this ceremonial mad ( nevani ) or elder adult females put the cotton pieces on the caput of Groom and espousal. This usage is called “ Phul cuhnran ” . flowers are the pieces of cotton.Groom gimmick these flowers to drop on land.
To execute this usage nivani shows a mirror to the Groom and bridle. The groom and bridle see faces of each other in this mirror. This ceremonial is called “ seasha Dikhaye ” .According to uncle Khuda Bux all these imposts are performed by nivani other Kammi Kamoon for acquiring wages from groom and bridle households.
“ Dodhe Pilaye ” ceremonial performs by bride sisters and close relations. She gives a decor glass of milk to the groom. The groom drink one sip of milk from glass and give glass to bridle her besides drink one sip of milk from glass. After this glass give to sabala and he imbibe all the milk.
In this ceremonial espousal near her manus, groom make attempt to open the close manus of espousal. Bridal friend suggest and advice that she will non open her manus. Sabala tell the manner to prepare how he will open. At least groom opens the manus of groom. After gap of her manus friends and comparative enjoy. Basic intent of this ceremonial is groom cogent evidence himself he is powerful and nuptial take her vacillation.
Nafal Nemaz/Quran shareef Parhan
When groom free from lavan ceremonial, he says supplications and some people recite the sanctum Quran. This is called NafalNemaz/Quran shareef parhan.
When groom get down his supplication, bridal sister acquire his and misplace from existent topographic point. If nuptial guider “ Sabala ” return places of groom. But that clip nuptial sister and friends get easy places of groom. After supplications groom happen his places, but he ca n’t acquire his places. Bridal sister demand for hard currency so they will supply places. Sister in Torahs demand more money and Sabala trade with her. After covering sisters in jurisprudence get hard currency and return places to prepare.
This ceremonial is removed from our society. In this ceremonial fat and old lady acquire day of the month foliage or thorne, this thorn attaches to prepare when he is sitting in lavan ceremonial. Groom feels hurting due to throne, usually Sabala attempt and care no organic structure attach anything to groom.
After lavan groom and nuptial household, relative ‘s adult females come to present and give hard currency that known as “ Salam ” . Everybody give hard currency harmonizing to their fiscal place. Mother in jurisprudence start, she give gilded ring or carpus ticker. Male side all organic structure give hard currency to groom. Her male parent in jurisprudence starts this activity. Largely groom cousin write down the sum of every individual because in future they will pay harmonizing this ratio.
In the matrimony invites “ Mirasi ” membranophone maestro and entertainer to entertain all invitees. In matrimony party friends and comparative give some money seasonably to beat maestro this is called “ lament ” . In adult females side groom and nuptial household besides give money to lady drum maestro. And some money besides gives those people that are working in both places.
The Rukhsati ( directing off ) takes topographic point, when the groom and his household will go forth together with the bride. The Qur’an is usually held over the brides head as she walks from the phase to the issue in order to bless her. This is a drab juncture for the bride ‘s parents as it marks the going of their girl from their place. The going of the bride becomes a really emotional scene as she says farewell to the place of her parents and siblings to get down a new married life. Traditionally, the groom travels by a adorned camel to the bride ‘s house and after the nuptials ceremonial takes his married woman in a doli ( palankeen ) to his parents ‘ house to populate.
The camel and the carts have now been replaced by autos, and in crisp contrast to western nuptialss, it is typical to see a quiet bride with wet eyes as she sits in the auto beside her hubby go forthing for her new place. Family of bridal more weep and espousal besides crying because she leaves her place and household. Parents of groom give bond of their girl will experience happy in their place and do n’t take tenseness because she is besides our girl. Family gives wheat in a basket that she put up on the land. That describe HameedUlfatMalghani in ain words, she remove her nutrient from this place. Father of espousal Tell bridal now you are traveling, we will have your funeral. UncleRamzan tells that nuptial via media with her in jurisprudence house and ne’er come back to father place.
Groom sisters sing a vocal like
“ sakoon bahan banri di dhai hay: sara looke allah district attorney sahai hay ”
“ javanien mahnra par kapandy kany: wajan dhool theaven shadmany ”
“ takon mamy badhan ghany: sakoon bahan banri di dhai hay ” .
Surajy ghar pujanr
Apparently they said activity should non protract more than two hours but in world as ascertained, takes four to five hours. The Baraat accompanying newlywed twosome ranges back at bridegroom ‘s house tardily at dark. Many people have opted to keep Baraat in daylight alternatively of dark. The grounds for said alteration of timing possibly are the security menaces.
Bridal ne’er come down from auto boulder clay auto driver non have hard currency that is called “ mokha ” .
Munh Dikhaie is the ceremonial of first clip “ screening of the face ” after the matrimony. When bride come to prepare place the parents of grooms perform the ceremonial of Munhdikhai and give gifts and net hard currency to his “ bahoo ” .after this the aunties and sisters of grooms see the face of bride and remarks “ Shala nazar na lagay ” , “ chandar district attorney tota hay ” , “ subhan Allah ” , “ Mashallah ” .
“ Muhaari Napai ” is a usage which is performed by the bridle after rejoinder from his parent ‘s place. She hold the door of his room and ca n’t come in in the room till his male parent in jurisprudence give some gift like “ cow ” or hard currency gift. Some people perform this usage and some people ca n’t execute Ti usage.
“ Bacha chawai ” is ceremonial which is performed by the bridle. The bridle took the beautiful kid and enters in his room. Malik Naveed explains this usage “ God ” give a beautiful kid to new bridle in future ” .
Suhaagraat ( aureate dark, inaugural dark of married life ) refers to the twosomes ‘ first dark together and it occurs after the bride has left for the groom ‘s house. On the twenty-four hours of the nuptials, the twosomes ‘ sleeping room is decorated with flowers. It is customary for roses to be laid across the twosomes ‘ bed. The groom ‘s female relations lead the bride to the sleeping room and she is left for some clip to expect the groom ‘s reaching. At this point it is common for the groom to remain with his relations for a piece. The groom may be offered a glass of milk during this clip.
After the relations have left, the groom enters the sleeping room where the bride is waiting. The bride adjusts the borders of her dupatta so that they cover her face. This is known as ‘ghoonghat ‘ . It is customary for the hubby to brush the bride ‘s ghoonghat aside to uncover her face, as one of the first things he does on suhaagraat. ‘MoonhDikhai ‘ , literally intending ‘revealing of the face ‘ is a present that is presented to the bride by her hubby on this dark. This is by and large a piece of jewellery such as a ring or a household decoration. On this aureate dark make a sexual relationship between each other. Somewhere a white fabric lay down on the groom and bridle bed where they intercourse. The ground of white fabric is to look into the blood on fabric. This is a symbol of nobility of bridle. Sometime if no blood on fabric so the bridle is known as a ethically, morally, and sexually corrupt. Sometime groom divorce following twenty-four hours to the bridle. This usage is performed by some “ Jahil ” people.
Post Marriage Customs
On the twenty-four hours of walima the female parent of bridle give a breakfast repast and dry fruits to his girl and for his boy in jurisprudence. This ceremonial is known as a “ MakharnrMakhii ” .
Constantly, the tiffin offered to the participants called Walima, has become a standard pattern at KotSultan. Walima has replaced two meal supplies, antecedently taken as built-in portion of matrimony ceremonial. The repasts no more ordered offered were Jung and Aaga.
Walima Is Ceremony to Announce the Wedding To community and friends. It ‘s a expansive response hosted by the groom ‘s parents. Relatives, friends and community people are invited to the response and nuptials is celebrated with great merriment and celebrations. Walima is normally arranged at an unfastened topographic point ( broad house, community school ) and served by the relations of the bridegroom. Catering services available at nearby town are seldom availed. The friends present the gifts on Walima twenty-four hours, which used to be presented instantly after the Parna ceremonial.
Interestingly, the research worker found that alternatively of trade good gifts, hard currency is given to the bridegroom. The bridegroom may straight have the sum presented by the usual pattern is that a director appointed by the bridegroom receives the hard currency. Everyone lodging hard currency, is observed to be every keen in guaranting entry of his in the book kept by the director. There is a representation system in operation in which alternatively of the existent guest, person else, sedimentations hard currency on behalf of the absent guest. The bridegroom every bit good as his relations do non mind the payment in absentia and go on keeping relationship with the absent guest lodging money.
The bridle stays six yearss after matrimony in groom house. After this the brother of bridle, female parent and close relation of bridle want to have the bridle.Seventh twenty-four hours of matrimony bridle go to his parents ‘ place. All household members and relatives run into the new bridle and warm welcome at his parent place. This ceremonial is called “ Satowar ” .Normally after matrimony the Moon calendar is travel to stop so bridle to his parents ‘ place before seven yearss if they non make this so called “ Do Chandra ” and this is miss happen in future. The groom female parent and groom go to bridle parents to have his married woman and girl in jurisprudence. The household of bridle warm welcome and direct his girl with prays.
Saien Ashoo Lal Faqeer writes in his book “ Chairoo Hath na Murlii ” and shows some scene about satowara in his verse form “ Satowara ” .
“ pahly wango, Jalien, pealoo, stand in oven chit choor: akhaen chumda ooyha amri paikray, ooyhe Qissya, ooyhe retain, ooyhe chandr chakoor, par hik amri taday khaohain, chief na hain hunr oaven “
Summary and Conclusion
Due to predominant endogamic matrimony forms, the NikahNama does non transport conditions laid down except the Amount of money ( called HaqMehr in Islamic sharia law jurisprudence ) to be paid by the bridegroom to the bride right after matrimony and at going of bride in instance of divorce
Majority of the adult females get married much prior to the age at matrimony as per legal criterions i.e. of being 18 old ages of age. The alibi is the non-availability or non-possession of NIC ( national individuality card ) that the clip of matrimony.
Display of dowery in the signifier of Warhi is acquiring unpopular and in many instances discarded by the people therefore seems to be a deceasing imposts.
All points included in the doweries are normally kind of prescribed listing. The bridegroom ‘s household does non take a firm stand on acquiring certain points from bride ‘s household as dowery.
The Watta Satta matrimonies are known to hold taken topographic point without dowery.
Mangni is rarely.
Card invitation has replaced the invitation through courier.